Over 50 and Unemployed? Don’t Be.

By Ray Hatfield

Everything you are doing to land a job is probably wrong.

This is not one of those ‘look him in the eye and give him a firm handshake, go back to school and learn new skills, hire a professional to rewrite your resume’ type articles.

After 50, the chances of you landing an advertised job is next to zero. Apply if you want but don’t hold your breath. Here’s what to do instead:

Resumes don’t count.

This is how I feel about resumes: Nobody reads them. These days, everyone is padding their resumes with questionable achievements and hiring managers know it. Besides, did you ever try to read 5 resumes in a row, let alone a few hundred? (or a few thousand?).

The reality is most times your resume never gets read. There are just too many of them. If you feel you must have a resume because everyone says you need one and everyone asks you for it just because they think they should, at least make it look as interesting and creative as possible. Include graphics, cartoons, a letter from your third grade teacher — anything that draws attention and makes it stand out. And NEVER include it as an attachment. Put it in the body of your email instead. Nobody wants to open an attachment You’ve heard of viruses?

Here’s when you do need a resume: After you’re hired there’s always somebody who needs to have a copy for their files. So you might as well do one just in case. But don’t include dates and don’t go back further than 15 years.

Avoid online applications.

Like the plague. They are programmed to reject you if choose one answer they are not looking for. And that’s after you spend an hour filling one out. And talk about impersonal. I suspect that no human even looks at your application. One computer looking over the shoulder of another computer -how nice!

Nix headhunters

Headhunters are having the same difficulty you are having in finding a job. In today’s economy, many employers would rather not pay a headhunter’s finding fee - they’ll use craigslist or word of mouth to get the word out.

Besides, many headhunters are snakes. (They’re not called ‘headhunters’ for nothing.)  They are your best friend if they think you might be a hot prospect and don’t return your calls if you turn out to be cooling down. You’ve got better things to do, trust me. Avoid the humiliation in dealing with them.

Postings and grapevines

Don’t bother applying for jobs that you find posted online or heard about through the grapevine. A zillion other people will be applying for that job having seen the same posting or by being on that same grapevine. The odds are not with you. Chances are you are not the “best” qualified person applying for the job. (Sorry) Besides, with all those people applying, the person hiring probably won’t even get to or read your resume.

Exception to that rule: Try being over-qualified

Apply for a job that you are over-qualified for and that is offering much less pay than you would be willing to work for. Assume that they would never hire you because you’re overqualified and that they will think you would probably quit if you found something that would pay you more.

Tell them that you are sure, based on your experience that you are over-qualified for the position but tell them jokingly, that they shouldn’t be concerned because you are an under-achiever. Push for a meeting. The object of this approach is to somehow get them to want to at least meet you even if they would never hire you. You want them to keep you in mind if something else comes up.

Don’t let yourself be interviewed

Think of it as a meeting, not an interview. In fact, act as if you are conducting the interview. Ask a lot of specific direct questions like “Tell me, the truth, is this a good place to work?” “Are the people in charge intelligent?” “What’s the level of talent or expertise of the employees?” “Is the company in good financial shape?” “How long have you worked here?” This approach shows that you are carefully considering if this is the kind of company you might want to work at. It also puts the interviewer on the defense a little, which is always to your advantage.

Never think of yourself as being unemployed or out of a job.

As far as anybody is concerned you are a successful consultant or have your own small business. Have business cards made. It’s alright to say the economy has affected your business which is why you are getting out and meeting people more. You are always in a stronger position when the person in the hiring position thinks you already have a job rather than you need a job.

Don’t be modest/exaggerate/drop names

These are tough times. If you don’t have genuine success stories, gross exaggerations are perfectly acceptable. Exaggerate how successful a campaign or sales event you were instrumental in implementing and at the same time drop some names.

For example: “It was the biggest sales promotion success in Coca Cola’s history.” “I was instrumental in making the Chicago Lottery the #1 Lottery in the country.” “We used Sean Penn as a spokesperson - great guy. “The “successes” will provide you with both credentials and endorsements by association.

Mind their business

Find out if a company you have been pursuing is participating in a local trade show or convention. If they are, make it your business to attend and visit their booth. Meet some of their people. Tell them you have been corresponding with so and so and you like the way the company does business. Take business cards. Afterward follow up with the CEOs or hiring managers and mention you visited their booth at the trade show. Offer your observations of the show, their booth, their pitches, their competition, etc. This is a great way to show that you are not only interested in their industry but are interested in their company as well.

Contact an old guy

Do some research and find companies with CEO’s older than you who are still very much active in the company. Over 70 is ideal. Find a way to make contact. (This is sometimes difficult.You might try saying you are interviewing local CEOs about the current business environment.)

Older people won’t consider you old. Even if they do, they know that older workers have value and appreciate your experience.

I recommend writing letters rather than emails. Everyone gets dozens of emails. Very few people get regular mail these days that isn’t junk mail or a bill. Use multiple denominations of stamps on the envelope so that the envelope looks a little different than the rest of his mail. If you can, find an article about the industry he’s in, include it as something you found that he might find of interest.

Flatter him by telling him how you admire his company and the way it does business. Find a nicety you can play back to him or her and thank him for it. Tell him how refreshing it is to find a company that has values. This works best with CEOs that own the company.

When you meet, find a way to mention your particular skills and offer your help if needed. DON’T ask for a job. He’s probably not the person who does the hiring but it sure doesn’t hurt if he passes your name on to the one who does.

Get a professional but casual photo taken

If you’re attractive, by all means include a small photo of yourself via business card or resume. The more attractive you are, the better your chances to get to see someone in person. That’s how pharmaceutical company reps get in to see doctors. Unfortunately, like it or not, as a rule the best looking people have an advantage. If you look like George Clooney or Michelle Pfeiffer - you’re hired automatically.

Awful question #1: Why did you leave your last job?

Answer it this way: Tell them you were let go because there was a difference of opinion on what constitutes “ethics.” (Say “ethics” in a way that clearly shows that you think your former employer lacks them.) And then say you would rather not discuss it. Say, “Let’s just say I don’t think it would be in my best interest for you to contact them.”

Awful question #2: What are your salary requirements?

I hate that question. Nobody wants to price themselves out of contention by going too high or screw themselves by asking too little.

Answer it this way: “I have no salary requirements, I have job requirements. If the job seems like it’s a good fit, I’m willing to work within your budget. On the same token, if you think I’m the person for the job, I would appreciate you offering me a fair salary.”

Finally, if the above suggestion don’t get you anywhere, and if you’re really ballsy, try this:

Blow up your resume 3 ft. x 5t. On the top in giant letters say Marketing Manager (or whatever you are) Needs Work. Include your resume beneath it. Make 2 copies and mount them on heavy Styrofoam boards.  Wear them as sandwich signs, front and back. Walk up and down a busy thoroughfare like Madison Avenue in New York. You’ll get noticed and maybe make the evening news. Get a friend to video it and put it on YouTube.

The point of this article is to encourage you to try and think and do things a little different than everyone else is doing them.

Hey, tough times require innovative means. Good Luck.<<

Ray Hatfield is 59 years old. He has recently been hired by a national company using his above strategies. His name is not really Ray Hatfield.

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better than christmas

Every time I think I’m in serious danger of becoming a princess because of all my self-indulgences, I am snapped out of it unexpectedly, usually by my husband. He has a knack of knowing not only what will please me, but how happy it will make me to get what most would consider, at best, an unlikely gift - even question whether these things qualify as gifts at all.Ah, but be assured they do. Only last year did he observe me working in our yard, diligently (and foolishly) trying to pry some pretty hefty rocks out of the ground using a shovel for leverage. He left the house, saying he’d be back shortly. When he returned, it was with a gift that made me laugh with glee. I never thought of myself as the kind of girl who would be excited by having her own crow bar.  But it’s all mine. I use it all the time for something or other and I take great care of it - not that a crow bar requires much maintenance.Now, this spring we’re planning some “serious” yard work. Actually, the yard has been happily delegated to me. One of my first priorities is getting rid of a considerable number of logs that have rotted out and are a legacy of the previous owners. You might think a wood chipper (a la Fargo) would be his next “gift” to me. But, he actually did something even more clever. Knowing my need to get rid of the vast amount of rotted stumps as well as my love of throwing things out (just ask my kids) that haven’t been used in a year, he used his considerable influence to cater to both idiosyncrasies. Tomorrow morning he has arranged for the delivery of my very owndumpster (on loan, of course) along with the kind assistance of two men who will help me get rid of stuff!  What could be better than your own dumpster, even if it’s just for the day.You know, our anniversary is coming up. I’m kind of hoping for a chain saw.

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Casks & Tubs in Cave di Moleto, Italy

Topping the vineyard laden hills of the Piedmont (Piemonte) region in Italy are charming little ancient villages with quaint lodgings, wonderful food and wine specialties. With a romantic getaway in mind, Claudia, hostess extraordinaire, took us on a driving tour down the lovely rural lanes of Monferrato to show us her favorite villas. She insisted that we choose one for our evening‘s accommodations.

The calming beauty of our trip was broken — just once — when a madcap, out-of-nowhere Vespa driving maniac whipped around our car and Claudia exclaimed, “Mamma Mia!,” her hands gesturing wildly. Italians actually say that in real life! We had mistakenly thought that the phrase was a cliché limited to Super Mario Bros and bad canned spaghetti commercials.  We learn something new everyday.

We strolled through several medieval villages then settled upon staying at Cave di Moleto. Moleto is a small community that includes a working vineyard and winery, restaurant and hotel. A small outdoor theatre with a 360 degree panorama, hosting fantastic jazz concerts. The view the from theatre is spectacular, overlooking the Valle dei Frati (Valley of the Friars) and the rolling hills at the feet of the Alps. Romantic?  Si.

The name Cave di Moleto comes from the ancient quarries of marl (clay) in the area but is also a clever bit of word play. Cave in Italian is the word for mines or quarries but in French it means the place to store wine. The village itself dates back to the late 700s and in 1992, the estate was bought and extensive renovations were undertaken. The winery incorporates the old wine cellars with the technologies of today. The renovations are impressive and were obviously done with much love and the utmost care.

We were given a tour of the lodgings, while listening to the vineyard workers in a spirited game of ping pong. There were twelve spacious rooms in all, each with distinctive and whimsical touches, utilizing the art of Trompe l’oeil (we spent a least an hour just staring at the ceiling above our bed). We selected the Camera Sant’Orsola for its wonderful little balcony overlooking a little chapel, the beautiful bed with its ornate wooden headboard (like cathedral doors) and the biggest bathroom we had ever been in.

Since choosing a room for its bathroom was a first for us, it seems a detailed description should be made: In the middle of the huge room stood a free standing, deep, no, VERY deep, white cast iron, four legged tub. The toilet and bidet each were nestled away with deco-like, back lit partitions with a step-up vanity tucked between. The ceiling was extremely high and elaborately painted. A full wall was dedicated to windows overlooking the courtyard. Molto bella.
We spent our evening strolling around the village, jaws agape in historical and architectural wonder, then hiking through the vineyards at sunset. We finished with a bottle of the estate’s Barbera del Monferrato perfect for the “Symphony of our own sausages to cutting board Monferrato” in a candlelit courtyard. Little details were everywhere — even the lanterns were made from wine carafes. Cosi’ romantico.

To end a perfect day, we retired to our room to drift off contemplating the ceiling.

David & Veronica, GypsyNester.com

To see more pictures of beautiful Cave di Moleto (including the bathroom!), go to http://www.gypsynester.com/mo.htm

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My Mother, Myself

By Ethel Lee-Miller

I recently started walking at the mall with a friend. We share the time it takes to do several loops. The faster we walk, the more we talk, mostly about relationships, particularly mother-daughter.

We both had our share of conflict with our mothers. I had been a rebellious teenager in the 1960s; breaking rules seemed the only way I could ‘separate’ from my parents. Fulfilling her mother’s high expectations had made childhood difficult for Candy too.

Our relationships had mellowed as our mothers got older and we gained insight into the perspective of our 1950s moms; perfect children equaled perfect mothers and imperfect children…. Well, you can see how it went.

Candy and I found the mother conflicts were replaced by our growing maturity and the common experience of caring for our aging mothers. We witnessed these independent and often difficult women move into various stages of illness and vulnerability that come with aging, sometimes with cranky or bitter resistance, sometimes with a sense of grace that was astounding and inspiring.

As Candy and I aged, there was also the realization: we were so much like our mothers. Now both our mothers had died; mine two years ago on Christmas Eve; hers this past winter. We are motherless daughters.

“I have my mother’s hands,” Candy said, spreading her fingers in front of her as we walked. “Arthritis,” as she touched the bumps near her joints.

“Me too,” as I located the age spots that speckled the backs of my hands.  “And all those years I vowed I’d never be like my mom.”

“Funny.”

One morning, post walk, Candy beckoned me to her car. “I want to show you something.”

Out of the trunk of her car she produced a needlepoint pillow, a kaleidoscope of colors sliding across in a vibrant collage.

“Wow,” I breathed. I knew Candy did needlepoint, but I’d only seen delicate patterns on pristine white backgrounds.

“Yeah, different for me,” she chuckled. “I got the colors from my mother.”

“Your mother?” I asked. Wait, this was embarrassing. I was pretty sure her mom had died. I had sent a card, a book.

“Oh yes, she died six months ago,” Candy said. “I miss her so much.”

Candy looked off with a smile as if she saw her mom in the distance, maybe walking toward us.

“When Mom died, my sister and I went to clean out her house. My sister found this box of needlepoint with Mom’s unfinished work and said there was more of a chance that I would make use of it than anyone else in the family.” Candy looked at me and chuckled. “After years of resisting my mother extolling the benefits of needlepoint work to calm nervous thoughts and hands, I had reluctantly tried it. It worked.”

She glanced down at the reminder of her mother. “My mother did needlepoint for years,” she said as her middle-aged hands smoothed across the pillow. “She had to stop when her arthritis became so painful. Maybe she thought she would start again, that’s why she saved all this.”

Candy’s eyes met mine. The same thought occurred to us. Maybe something made her save it for someone else?

Candy continued, “When I went through the mix of threads and pillow forms, I found this one. It struck me because it was so colorful and had already been started. That’s why I say my mom gave me the colors. I just continued the pattern, but…” she said with a final pat, “we did it together.”

“You know what I mean?” Candy asked aloud. Behind her words I sensed ‘Do you understand how I feel?’ I did. What a lovely gift from your mother, I thought.

The usually bubbly features of my friend’s face softened as she bent over to pull out a second unfinished memory. I could see in her face the girl, young woman, and now middle-aged woman who loved her mother as deeply as I had grown to love mine.

“Look at this. Green and red, almost finished. I like to imagine she was doing this one for me. I’ll do this one next—just in time for Christmas.”

Ethel Lee-Miller is a Let Life In member who contributed this memoir to our “Your Stories” section, originally titled “A Mother’s Gift.”

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Change your Life Now Before it’s too Late.

By P. Coletta in Your Stories

I’m a “recovering” lawyer but like Marines, alcoholics, and Catholics, there’s some stuff you just can’t ever shake. About four years ago, I quit being a lawyer, and I’ve never looked back. I’ve quit other jobs and professions too and I’d like to tell you about it so that you can dig up that high school dream you had of owning a bakery or being a river guide and make it happen. My dream was always to live in a cabin in the Colorado mountains and ride horses. Guess what? I did just that.

Are you tired of being “squeezed?”

It took me 16 years to leave the law though I knew after about six months in law school that I was doomed. I wanted to give the gig a fair shot, so I worked for three different firms, thinking that a change of scenery would quell the restlessness inside me. But I came to find out that law firms are generic. They are like a tube of toothpaste: you have to squeeze the bottom to ensure abundance at the top. This, in fact, is the paradigm of American business in general. Are you tired of being squeezed yet? Or maybe you’re the top of the tube, gooping “abundance” all over the place and you still ache inside.

Life is weird folks, and it’s not a dress rehearsal.

This is it. This is your one shot. You want to spend ten hours a day in a job that makes your chest hurt? Not me. I’m a weenie, I guess. I’m not into suffering, and I’m pretty much a bum. I’m a solid citizen, I pay my taxes, I take care of my kids. But at heart, I’m a bum. Maybe you are too.

If I’m right, then the first thing you need to do to quit your job is change your mind, the way I did. If you really desire to simplify and change your life, you can do it. Don’t let anyone or any negative thought stop you.

I know, I know. The kids, the money.

Here’s how I handled it: for one thing, I never bought a new car; always (or mostly) a Honda, used, which I would drive until it stopped dead in the six-figure mileage area. Material stuff doesn’t interest me too much at all. I like to ski and would save up every year to take the kids to the mountains for five days. That was my extravagance. I invested wisely in real estate that was bound to appreciate. I didn’t mind moving every couple of years if the market was going to give an enormous return on my investment. My kids weren’t crazy about it but sometimes you don’t need to listen to them.

Toughen up!

After the kids and the money comes the saga about how the family has gotten used to a certain lifestyle, whatever it is. How about this as a response: too bad. Toughen up, buttercup. Mommy or Daddy or both of us are tired of being a workhorse. Truly, if folks love each other (as families profess they do), then they will do anything to support the happiness of the members of the clan. If, however, you’re easily intimidated by people having hissy fits about “stuff” they “need”…. I can’t really help you.

Rethink the way you manage your life.

So, if the first thing you need to do to quit your job is change your mind, totally rethinking the way you manage your life and your money, the next thing you need to do is dream. Remember dreaming? Do you even remember how to have a dream? Probably you are so absorbed in the daily grind of “making it” that you have forgotten what you are born to do.

I was born to be a cowgirl.

By circumstances of birth, however, I was a Philly girl, then a Jersey girl, a lawyer and a teacher before I finally donned my chaps. But I never let the dream die. I talked about it and fantasized about it and made my plan. And when my youngest son graduated high school I sold everything, packed my Honda CRV with clothes, books, and camping equipment, and went West. Now after a few years of using an outhouse I got a little tired of life on the ranch.  Cowboy Bob and I moved to Steamboat Springs where we live and play in the mountains, but with indoor plumbing.

Amazing things happen when you start to really “follow your bliss…”

…as Joseph Campbell would say. Once you leave the trappings of the life you’ve constructed, which is someone else’s idea of who you are, and you follow that creative impulse that’s been deep inside since you were a kid, benevolent forces will come out of nowhere to make it happen. Trust me on this one. The hardest part of this whole process is learning to be true to yourself, to pay no mind to the critical and harsh voices of those who would like you to stay the same … which might mean, to stay miserable.

Change your mind. Start dreaming again.

Don’t be afraid. Make a plan that begins with your decision to be happy. Then when the time comes to say good-bye to the job you never liked, or the place you never wanted to be, or the lifestyle you never wanted to live, you’ll do it with joy and not anger. Good luck … and happy trails.

Pcolletta submitted this article to the Your Stories section

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A Novel Way to Rediscover Purpose

We enjoy Carol Adrienne’s work linking intuition, synchronicity and purpose, and were surprised to discover that she uses numerology with midlife clients doing a life review. The life chart helps them identify their values, reassess their strengths, understand life lessons, and clarify their purpose for the next chapter. Well, we found this irresistible, so several of us had our readings done – and were amazed to discover an in-depth snapshot of our motivations, abilities and challenges, and the direction our lives could take. One of us found it so compelling that she bought one for her freshly minted Ivy League college grads - disrupting their worldview! - and leading to a wide-ranging conversation about the nature of mind, and the role of intuition in daily life. We asked Carol to share her work -and she said yes! You can listen here, and calculate your life stage number to discover its meaning.

Here’s what one of us gleaned: she’s in an 8 life stage (achiever) and with a 1 challenge (leadership), suggesting that she needs to develop self-sufficiency, while her 9 life cycle indicates a phase of spiritual seeking. In a nutshell, its said she’s in a period of achievement - if she develops her talents and has faith in her skills as a leader. And, being in a phase of spiritual seeking, she’ll find fulfillment using her skills in her purpose as a reformer (heart’s desire).

The report affirmed her unarticulated sense of herself in this new post-50 phase. In fact, she’s using skills developed over a lifetime to reform the way business has been done in her field- showing leadership by bringing spiritual principles into the business arena to make it more sensitive to people’ needs.

The life chart report covers 19 aspects of life taken from your name - the one on your birth certificate - and your birth date. Most intriguing to me is that I’ve used Spanish, English and Hungarian variations of my name over the years, and the numbers do pinpoint the subtle shadings of emphasis I experienced during those times. Just sharing - I don’t pretend to explain it!

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Talking About Mid-Life Sexual Mojo

Lately,  there seem to be a lot of discussion about mid-life sexual dysfunction – specifically women’s sexual dysfunction, which I naturally find far more interesting than talk about ED and the ubiquitous print and broadcast advertising campaign behind Cialis and Viagra.  An article that appeared yesterday in the New York Times, about a (futile) effort to promote a female-aphrodisiac in TV advertisements capped them all.  Apparently, some research has concluded that  Zestra Essential Arousal Oils has proven to help some women who, shall we say… have lost their sexual mojo.  The makers of this product have produced a two-minute TV commercial for Zestra, in which 40- and 50-something women use racy words like  sex and arousal in expressing their desire for the sex life they once enjoyed in their younger days.  Watch it here because, unfortunately, it will likely never see the light of day due to the squeamish (male?) executives at the TV networks, cable stations, radio stations and even Facebook and WebMD.

Despite commercials flooding the airwaves about ED remedies like Cialis, whose voiceover script refers to ‘an erection lasting more than four hours,’ any mention of female sexual pleasure is clearly verboten.  According to the New York Times article, even Facebook, with its growing population of mid-life women, pulled ad an that read ‘Zestra Essential Arousal Oils –  Try Zestra for Free’ saying that ‘Facebook did not allow advertisements that contain or promote adult content including sexual terms/and or images.’  It’s hard to believe that this double-standard still prevails – even on Cable and the Internet. I think  the commercial would achieve for women what Cialis and Viagra commercials have for men: they’ve learned that they’re not alone and it’s an acceptable topic to discuss with your physician.

Low sexual desire in the second half of life was also the cover story of the August issue of the Mayo Clinic Health Letter, which takes a more buttoned up approach to explaining the reasons for a libido that wilts with age.  For women, they explain, the culprits are decreased estrogen production, urinary or genital tract changes as well as changes in our body shape and size, which affects how desirable we feel.  The National Women’s Health Resource Center also publishes “Fast Facts” about Sex and Intimacy after Menopause, which offers a more detailed explanation.  But for a really good medical explanation about low libido in mid-life I asked Rebecca Hulem, (pictured below) a personal menopause coach, why a lot of mid-life women lose their desire for sex:

The loss of sexual desire in mid-life women involves several factors. The first and foremost is the drop in two hormones: estrogen and testosterone. Testosterone is the “hormone of desire” and is produced in equal parts by the ovary during ovulation, and the adrenal glands. When ovulation stops during menopause 50% of our testosterone production automatically is gone, leaving the adrenal glands to provide the other 50%. When you lose half of your testosterone production it makes a big impact. This is why the majority of women who have transitioned thru menopause complain that they never really think about having sex anymore. If their partners “initiate” love making and they can wrap their mind around having sex many can still enjoy it. But the “initiation” from the woman is usually gone and as you can imagine this can have a big impact on the relationship.

The second hormone estrogen plays a huge part in the “mechanics” of sexual intimacy. Estrogen affects every aspect of the vagina. Estrogen keeps the vaginal tissue healthy and elastic. It provides the lubrication necessary for comfort and pleasure with intercourse. It helps to provide adequate blood flow and circulation to the clitoris and vaginal tissue thus allowing for adequate arousal and orgasms. Without adequate estrogen the vagina eventually will lose its elasticity, the tissue becomes thin and easily irritated by clothing, soaps and ,of course, intercourse. A woman may then experience a dry, itchy, burning feeling in and around the vaginal tissue. This sets up a painful cycle. If there is not adequate lubrication, intercourse and foreplay is painful. If intercourse is painful naturally a woman wants to avoid it. Most women feel embarrassed to discuss this with their partners or their health care providers. The relationship is then compromised. The man feels rejected and thinks it is him.

So, what do you think about the Zestra Commercial?  Would seeing it air on TV make you uncomfortable? Please use the comment box below to share your opinions.

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Foods That Can Fight the Aging Process

It’s blueberry season and that means an abundant source of yummy, anti-aging nutrients at my local farmers market.  Besides the fact that they’re sweet and delicious, blueberries are loaded with compounds that fight oxidation and inflammation, which are associated with age-related deficits such as memory and motor function. Specifically, they contain a special compound called polyphenols, which help brain cells talk to each other.

As nutritionist and author Dr. Johnny Bowden explains in his latest book (see review below), the blueberry is just one example of  a “superstar” food that has scored high on the ORAC test, which measures a food’s oxygen radical absorbance capacity. This test, conducted by scientists at the USDA, reveals a food’s true age-fighting potential.  Here’s a list of the top performing, high antioxidant (high-ORAC) foods that Bowden says “will help protect us from a virtual encyclopedia of syndromes and diseases associated with aging:

PrunesRaisinsBlueberriesBlackberriesKaleStrawberriesSpinachRasberriesYellow squashBrussel Sprouts

Bowden offers this nutritional advice for anti-aging:  ”Shop so your grocery basket looks colorful.  You’ll automatically be eating a ton of high-antioxidant (high-ORAC) foods.”

The information summarized here was taken from Johnny Bowden’s latest book, “The Most Effective Ways to Live Longer: The Surprising, Unbiased Truth About What You Should Do to Prevent Disease, Feel Great, and Have Optimum Health and Longevity.  A more detailed review can be found in last week’s blogpost below.

If you have a favorite recipe using any of these foods, I’d love to hear from you. You can copy and paste the recipe in the comment box below.

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How to Kick the Insomnia Habit: A Menopause Expert’s Advice

Sleep difficulty is one of the hallmarks of menopause.  Some midlife women find they have trouble falling asleep, while others can’t seem to stay asleep. Which ever camp you’re in (I’m in the latter), you’re probably all too familiar with the problems caused by sleepless nights: lethargy, forgetfulness, and depression are just a few that you might consider bothersome or uncomfortable at worst.  But did you know that constant sleep deprivation can have more profound consequences on your health?   The Cardia Sleep Study, for example, showed a correlation between sleep deprivation and higher blood pressure levels, especially among pre-menopausal women.  So what can you do about it?  I asked Rebecca Hulem, aka The Menopause Expert, about the causes and cures (if there are any) for hormone-related insomnia:

Wendy: Why do mid-life women have so many sleep problems?

Rebecca: Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep are two complaints I frequently hear from women who are transitioning through menopause. Many women, who are in the peri-menopause transition which usually starts around the age of 45, usually face this issue the most. The most common reason for this is the lack of a hormone called progesterone. Progesterone is produced by the ovary during ovulation and during peri-menopause, ovulation declines significantly thus reducing the production of progesterone. Progesterone’s key role in a woman’s body is to: regulate menstrual periods, regulate moods and allow a feeling of drowsiness at night which allows us to sleep easily.

The second complaint, I most often hear is difficulty staying asleep, which usually occurs during the menopause transition (average age 51). This is most commonly related to the decline of estrogen production. Estrogen is a wonderful hormone that has many roles including regulating body temperature. When estrogen levels drop we start to experience hot flashes and night sweats. Our estrogen levels are usually at their lowest around 2am, thus the occurrences of night sweats during this time are at their highest. If this happens night after night a cycle of anxiety can occur, which can set a woman up for additional sleep difficulties.

Many women have developed poor sleep hygiene practices over decades of focusing on the needs of their families. In the past they have gone to bed at whatever time they are finally finished with their day and sleep came fairly easily. However, as they begin to enter into menopause and can no longer rely on their hormones to help them sleep they need to take a new approach

Wendy: What do you recommend to your patients?

Rebecca: I begin by talking to women about good sleep practices otherwise known in the medical community as sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene refers to a predictable routine that is practiced on a nightly basis that allows the body to prepare for sleep. This includes going to sleep and awakening at the same time each day including weekends.

The atmosphere is also really important for your sleep hygiene, so the bedroom should be quiet, dark and cool.  Reading “light” material (not work related) helps to relax some women. Listening to relaxing music or a warm bath with lavender (aromatherapy essential oil) calms the body as well.  To reduce night sweats and provide a calming effect, I frequently recommend natural supplements such as Estroven Nighttime to help aid with menopause symptoms while sleeping.*  This all natural supplement contains Black cohosh, vitamin D3, valerian root extract, and Hops extract (both derived from plants and used for their sedative properties).Valerian root and Hops extract have been used for thousands of years in Chinese health practices.  Many of my patients have used this all natural supplement in both peri-menopause and menopause with great success.

I encourage my patients to remember that good sleep hygiene needs to be practiced on a regular basis to be effective and whenever possible to try and stay away from prescriptive sleep medications. Prescriptive sleep medications have many side effects not to mention their addictive, dependent qualities.

* Rebecca is a spokesperson for this product.

Note from Wendy:  See my previous blogpost about Menopause Coaches, and how they can help you.  Also, if you want to know if your own bedtime habits are helping or hampering the quality of your sleep, take this 10-question “sleep hygiene test” that I found on the Discovery Health website.  Finally, if you have conquered insomnia without prescription drugs, why don’t you tell others what “habits” have worked for you in the comment box below (or click on “comments”).

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Your Lovely Bones

Numerous studies have clearly established the benefits of exercise on bone density as we age.  But what kind of exercise?  For this guest blogpost, I asked Joan Pagano, an authority on the benefits of exercise for women’s health issues such as breast cancer, menopause and osteoporosis, to describe the basics of a bone-strengthening program.  She’ll follow-up later this week with a second blogpost that provides a more detailed plan that you can integrate into your workouts.  Joan is the author of six books, including my own favorite resource for strength training; Strength Training for Women.

Think about your strong, healthy bones and how they support you as you move through your day.  Picture your skeleton as the infrastructure of your body, a framework for your muscles and joints, and just imagine how life-changing it could be if the struts in that framework became weak and fragile, at risk of collapse.

Osteoporosis – which literally means “porous bones” – is a bone-thinning disease caused by a loss of mineral (primarily calcium) that weakens the bone structure.  It is a silent disease, with no apparent symptoms until a fracture occurs.  Exercise is a key factor in both preventing and treating this condition, but the strategies are completely different.  This column will highlight exercise for prevention and next week we’ll look at modifications if you’ve been diagnosed with osteoporosis.

After age 40, the goals of exercise are to maintain bone mass, offset or reduce bone loss and improve balance and coordination.  Exercise should maximize the load to the bones with a progressive (i.e. gradual intensification) program of weight bearing aerobic exercise and weight lifting.  Assuming your joints are healthy, you should aim for:

High impact aerobic exercise, defined as activities in which both feet are off the ground at the same time, as in running, jumping rope, and high-impact aerobic dance; also sports like basketball, volleyball and gymnastics. For bone formation, you want to maximize the ground reaction forces, the force with which your body hits the ground.High intensity weight lifting, using the heaviest weights you can lift in good form for 8-12 repetitions with the last few reps being challenging.  Do 1-3 sets of each exercise.

To target bones throughout the body do exercises for all the major muscle groups:  Hips and thighs, back, chest, shoulders, arms and abdomen.

Stabilization exercises, using the stability ball, BOSU and foam rollers, which recruit the muscles of the core body as you master unstable surfaces.

Remember: To prevent injury, it’s essential to prepare your joints for more intense work by increasing the workload gradually.

Of course, this information should not take the place of guidance from your own physician or other medical professional.  Always consult with your doctor before beginning an exercise program or becoming much more physically active.

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The Real Culprits of Belly Fat

Belly Fat. We fret about it so much.  We do endless crunches, wear tight, abdominal body shapers, and take risky hormone therapy all in an effort to reclaim our circa 1980 bodies.  Is the solution as simple as eat less and exercise more and accept the transformation in our bodies that is a natural part of aging?  Here’s what Rebecca Hulem, “The Menopause Expert,” said to me in a recent email exchange on this topic.   Take it to heart.

It is so interesting to me that human nature is such that we are desperate to blame our “belly fat” on an imbalance of hormones. And the suggested cure is balancing hormones with bioidenticals. What happened to common sense; that as we age metabolism changes, body fat shifts, and it takes more exercise and fewer calories to maintain our desired 30 year old bodies. There are millions of women walking around with way too much body fat and nowhere near the age of  midlife. Endocrine hormones change too at midlife – like thyroid and cortisol from the adrenals – yet if tested the levels would look normal. So my opinion is the solution is much more complicated than just balancing hormones. Even Suzanne Somers takes a gazillion vitamins and works out like a maniac everyday to maintain her body and she stills looks like she is in midlife.  Sometimes accepting the change and then doing the best we can to stay in a healthy state is a gentler way to go. We women are way too hard on ourselves.

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One Woman’s Grassroots Approach to Eradicating Vitamin D Deficiency

Carole Baggerly is on a mission to spread the word about the importance of Vitamin D for optimal health.  She’s neither a physician nor scientist. Rather, she’s a breast cancer survivor who, after undergoing treatments including breast removal, chemo and radiation, thought “there has to be a better way.”  As if that wasn’t enough, Carole was then diagnosed with Osteoporosis, which her doctor thought could have been the result of her low vitamin D level.  Around the same time, a physician-researcher at the University of California, San Diego had published authoritative data showing the risk for breast cancer could be reduced by 50% with adequate levels of Vitamin D!  That was all she needed to hear.  She left her career in the software industry and devoted the next chapter of her life to learning all she could about “the sunshine vitamin.”  She visited vitamin D researchers from coast to coast and attended medical association conferences. What she learned spurred her to action:  An estimated 40-75 percent of the world’s population is vitamin D deficient and little was being done to educate healthcare professionals and patients about the vital role that vitamin D plays in preventing many diseases including  tuberculosis, multiple sclerosis, type-1 diabetes and as many as 20 types of cancers.

Her solution?  She formed Grassroots Health, a non-profit corporation, to lead the movement to eradicate vitamin D deficiencies through advocacy and education.  She criss-crosses the country using her formidable speaking skills and vast knowledge of the latest scientific research to present the case for routine testing of vitamin D serum levels.  When she spoke last week at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco, I learned that recent studies indicate that daily vitamin D intake should be at least five times higher than the current recommended dose of 400 IU.   Here are some other data points I learned:

It is projected that the incidence of many diseases could be reduced by 50% or more, if the occurence of vitamin D deficiency was eradicated.Breast cancer incidence can be reduced by as much as 83% when the serum (blood) level is 50ng/ml (vs the baseline of 25 ng/ml)There’s evidence to suggest that adequate levels of vitamin D in the elderly can help increase muscle strength and reduce falls.The darker the skin the greater the probability of a vitamin D deficiency. Even in southern Arizona, 55% of African Americans and 22% of Caucasians are deficient.Blood-spot test kits, available to consumers via the internet, are just as reliable as the more expensive lab tests used by doctors and hospitals.

If you’re wondering how to get your 25-hydroxyvitamin D serum levels checked, or how much vitamin D is right for you, visit the Grassroots Health website, where many scientific papers and Carole’s presentations are posted.   (Tell your physician about it too!) You’ll also find a link to the D-Action campaign, which was launched last year by Grassroots Health to promote education, testing and feedback about vitamin D.  More than 8,000 individuals from all over the world have already signed up.  Of those, fully 50% of them started with levels below 40ng/ml, which indicates a vitamin D deficiency.  When you sign up to participate, you can purchase a blood-spot test kit for home use.  More information about the vitamin D home test kit can be found in a previous blogpost I wrote last year when the campaign was first launched.

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Recommended Reading: What You Can Do To Age Well

Jonny Bowden, a board-certified nutritionist and author of several books on nutrition and health, has nicknamed the four dangerous processes that age our bodies “the four horsemen of aging.”  He explains in his newest book, The Most Effective Ways to Live Longer: The Surprising, Unbiased Truth About What You Should Do to Prevent Disease, Feel Great, and Have Optimum Health and Longevity that together, they are probably responsible for the bulk of what happens to our bodies when they break down.  He writes: “Anything that’s happening in your body that you wish were not happening, from the beginnings of disease to the breakdown of systems to the loss of functionality, is being driven by the engine of these four processes.” So here they are with a brief explanation and advice from Bowden for mitigating their harm:

Oxidative Damage: You may have heard about “free radicals,” which Bowden describes as “dangerous molecules created from oxygen that attack your cells and damage your DNA and slowly wear you down, aging you from within.” He recommends eating plenty of vegetables and fruits, all high in ANTI-oxidants.  Berries, apples, prunes and green leafy vegetables are especially good for you.

Inflammation: We need some inflammation to heal an injury or irriation, but too much can be detrimental to  your health. Bowden explains that inflammation  ”damages the vascular walls and is a factor in every single degenerative disease including heart disease, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, cancer and obesity.”  His prescription includes supplementing daily with fish oil, “one of the great natural anti-inflammatory agents on the planet.”  He also recommends getting a high-sensitivity CRP test (C-Reactive Protein) the next time you have blood work done.  ”It’s the most reliable measure of inflammation now available.

Glycation: The third “horseman of aging” occurs when sugar molecules “glom onto protein or fat molecules, causing “sticky proteins that gum up the works and age your body and all its systems.  These sticky proteins accumulate everywhere in your body and are implicated in many of the diseases of aging,”  he explains.  Bowden recommends supplementing your diet with Carsonine, which he describes as the “ultimate anti-aging nutrient” to help prevent glycation from happening in the first place.

Stress:  Another insult to our bodies, says Bowden, is “any physical, mental or emotional factor that causes mental tension or bodily harm.” Stress produces hormonal reactions that can be detrimental to our health in many ways and make recovery from illness much more difficult.  His prescription includes meditation, relaxation, recuperative sleep and gentle excercise such as Yoga or Quigong.

Before you take any supplements, I urge you to consult an integrative medicine specialist, or naturopathic doctor to help you determine which supplements you should (or should not) be taking and in what dosages.

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FDA Advises Careful Use of Evamist

Not too long ago, a friend of mine told me that her puppies (PUPPIES!) went into heat, apparently as a result of their being exposed to the topical hormone cream that she was using on her lower arms.  It seemed odd to me and not worth writing about since, after all, how often does THAT happen?  Well, just over a week ago, the FDA issued a statement warning users of Evamist that this spray-on menopause treatment could indeed harm pets and children if they come in direct contact with it. Evamist contains estradiol, an estrogen hormone. It’s sprayed on the inside of the lower arm and is used to treat menopause-related hot flashes.  Since it was approved three years ago, the FDA has received eight reports of “adverse events” in children aged 3 to 5 who were unintentionally exposed to the drug. They define “adverse events” as premature puberty, nipple swelling and breast development in females and breast enlargement in males. Eight reports isn’t exactly a crisis, but I bet there are more unreported incidents of these “events” that cause a lot of worry, doctors appointments and unnecessary medical tests.

The FDA’s Center for Veterinary Medicine also has received two reports of dogs being exposed to Evamist and they cautioned that small dogs are at greater risk for estrogen sensitivity than larger ones.  One veterinarian I spoke with says that transference of topical hormones to pets is not as unusual as you think.  The Veterinary Information Network, a subscription web-based resource for veterinarians, compiled nearly twenty cases from around the nation of pets presenting with signs of estrogen excess, which according to a recently-published VIN article,  is manifested by labial enlargement in females and gynecomastia in males.  These symptoms go away when estrogen exposure to the pet is stopped.

The FDA statement includes helpful information for Evamist users.  If you want to report an adverse effect to Evamist, you can contact the FDA’s Medwatch program at 800-FDA-1088 or online on the Medwatch website .

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Belly Fat Can Be Deadly!

A large waistline isn’t just uncomfortable, or unattractive.  It can be deadly- even for people who have a normal body mass index (BMI), say researchers at the American Cancer Society, which funded and conducted a study that investigated the health repercussions of a bulging belly. They found that men and women over 50 years of age, with the biggest waistlines, have twice the risk of dying over a decade compared with those with the smallest bellies.  Those with bigger waists had a higher risk of death from causes including respiratory illnesses, heart disease and breast and colorectal cancer.

Of all the studies I’ve read about, this one hit home the most:  it wasn’t funded by a company trying to sell us something (which in my book makes it more credible) and it addressed the issue of belly fat, which, as a result of the natural redistribution of body fat during the menopause transition, puts mid-life w0men at risk for a number of diseases.  How do you know how much body fat is too much?  Measure your waistline.  If it’s more than 35 inches, you’ve got a problem.

To clarify, we’re talking about visceral or intra-abdominal fat that lies deep within the abdomen.  As explained  in the current Harvard Women’s Health Watch newsletter;

“when it comes to body fat, location counts. The fat lying deep within the abdomen is more perilous than the fat you can pinch with your fingers.  Visceral or intra-abdominal fat fills the spaces surrounding the liver intestines and other organs.  It’s also stored in the omentum, an apron-like flap of tissue that lies under the belly muscles and blankets the intestines. The omentum gets harder and thicker as it fills with fat.  Although visceral fat makes up only a small proportion of body fat, it’s a key player in a variety of health problems. That’s because researchers now believe that the fat cell is an endocrine organ, secreting hormones and other molecules that have far-reaching effects on other tissues …and researchers have identified a host of chemicals that link visceral fat to a surprisingly wide variety of diseases.”

Experts at Harvard Medical School say that visceral fat responds efficiently to diet and exercise, particularly aerobic activity and strength training, which can help to keep you lean by building muscle.  I highly recommend Joan Pagano’s book, Strength Training for Women, to help you get started on a program you can stick with.  Joan contributed a blogpost about “Strength Training, The New Star of Anti-Aging Strategies,” which is worth revisiting in light of this new research.  I also have written about other books that offer advice on diet and exercise that can help keep body fat from landing in the wrong place.

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Recommended Reading: The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind

I know I’m not alone in often forgetting the name of a close friend, the book I just finished or a film I recently saw.  It’s usually on the tip of my tongue and takes a minute (or 10) for my brain to dislodge this bit of information.  Is this forgetfulness a normal part of aging?  The result of  hormonal changes? Or  are we all on a slow journey to dementia?  That’s what I wanted to know when I picked up Barbara Strauch’s terrific book,  The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain: The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind in which she presents the latest research to explain how our brains work and change with age.

In her view, the middle-aged mind is vastly under-estimated and that memory function is actually “humming along nicely”  at this stage of life.  What does get a little dicey though is Episodic Memory, or our ability to recollect a recent event such a book we’ve recently read or a breakfast we just ate. (Sound familiar?) The problem is one of retrieval, not storage, she explains. “The piece of information is there, but it’s like trying to find the right book in a well-stocked library.”  Often, the information we were trying to recall finally emerges out of nowhere – a phenomenon that neuroscientists refer to as “pop-ups,” which occur more frequently with age.

Distraction is another consequence of changes in the middle-aged brain.  If you’re constantly looking for your keys or cell phone, or forget why you went into the kitchen with such purpose, then you understand the problem.  Strauch explains that as we age, the crucial frontal lobe region, the area of the brain that we use to concentrate, takes a back seat to the lower area of the brain called the “default mode,” which we use for daydreaming:  Our ability to switch off the default mode starts to wane  and thus, our ability to tune out irrelevant material is reduced.

Strauch offers a brief section on estrogen’s effects quoting Roberta Diaz Brinton Ph.D, a neuropharmacologist at the Unviersity of Southern California.”There’s a spectrum of responses that probably depends on how estrogen-dependent a a woman is. Some women get confused  and unfocused and are generally miserable until brain chemicals stabilize. Others say: ‘Hey, what’s the big deal?’

If you’re experiencing brain fog, forgetfulness, and occasional memory lapses and wondering (or worrying) if it’s just you, then this book is for you.  You’ll rest easier understanding what’s happening to our brains as we age and what to expect in the future.

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Symptoms Of Menopause - How To Deal With And Handle The Signs Of Menopause

The word menopause means the stopping of the monthly period (menses) and is a normal stage in a woman's life. Usually, it takes place between the ages of 45 and 55 years but it can happen as early as 35 years.

What happens during the menopause?

When a baby girl is born, she has all the eggs in her ovaries that she is going to hove. Eventually, these run out and the ovaries stop releasing eggs. During this lime, the levels of the female sex hormones, estrogen and progesterone, which are produced by the ovaries, become erratic and fall off. It is the reduction of oestrogen that causes the classical symptoms of the menopause: hot flushes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, insomnia, depression, and loss of bone density.

Many women have no symptoms during their menopausal years, but for about a third of women, there are unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms. If you bleed after your periods have stopped, see a doctor.

What treatments are there?

The conventional medical treatment for menopausal symptoms is hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Women who still hove a womb have to take a combination of a synthetic estrogen and a progestogen (progesterone-like drug) because oestrogen alone increases the risk of endometrial (womb lining) cancer, and breast and ovarian cancer. Women who have had a hysterectomy only need to take estrogen. HRT can alleviate symptoms such as hot flushes about 90 per cent of the time, although only about 20 per cent of women with symptoms choose to take it.

Estrogen and progesterone were thought to have a protective effect against heart disease (and pre-menopausal women do have a lower risk of heart disease), but HRT is no longer given to women to protect against heart disease. It is now believed that HRT can increase the risk of heart disease during the first year of taking the medication, or for those already with heart disease.

HRT is also unsuitable for some women, such as those with a history of thrombosis (blood clots] or those with abnormal vaginal bleeding. Some women stop taking HRT because of minor but unpleasant side effects, such as breast tenderness, weight gain, nausea, headaches, itchy skin rashes, and fluid retention. Other conventional drugs used in the menopause are clonidine for severe hot flushes and anti-depressants.

Complementary treatments can also help with the symptoms of menopause. There is scientific evidence for naturopathy, nutritional therapy, relaxation techniques, and herbalism. Helpful herbal medicines include St. Johns wort for mild to moderate depression, valerian for sleeplessness, vervain for stress, and black cohosh, chaste tree, sage, or wild yam for hormonal irregularity. The evidence for black cohosh is particularly strong, followed by that for chaste tree. Vitamin E or pot marigold cream may help with vaginal dryness.

Shatavari is an Ayurvedic tonic said to have a regenerative action on the female organs and to contain female hormones that help with symptoms such as dryness, excessive thirst, hot flushes, and loss of libido, although clinical studies are lacking. Therapies such as acupuncture and homeopathy might help, but the evidence is anecdotal.

Counseling or psychotherapy can help depressed women who find it hard to face children leaving home, retirement or ageing. The preventative measures discussed in the sections on heart disease and osteoporosis are also relevant. Natural progesterone creams are promoted to treat menopausal symptoms. One study suggests they might help with hot flushes but there is only limited evidence that they prevent osteoporosis.

There is growing evidence for the benefits of soy foods and supplements, which contain phytoestrogens with hormonal properties.

HRT has been widely prescribed for menopausal women who suffer from a wide variety of symptoms of menopause such as hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia and depression, but recent studies have shown that is may not be the best option for alleviating the symptoms, or for your long term health either. If you'd like to know what the alternatives are, check out New Menopause Support for some much needed answers.

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Dealing With Menopause Symptoms

The menopause is not an illness for which you need a drug (orthodox HRT). It is part of the normal cycle of a woman's hormonal life when the menstrual cycles cease. Menopause generally occurs between the ages of 45 and 55, though it can occur as early as 35 or as late as 65 years of age.

Dr Marilyn Glenville, an expert on the menopause, says, "At the time of menopause, a women still produces estrogen but not sufficient to prepare her womb for pregnancy. Levels of progesterone plummet or disappear completely. The ovaries continue to produce small quantities of estrogen for at least 12 years after the onset of the menopause."

For most women the menopause happens in three phases. Firstly comes perimenopause when you still have periods but they may become heavier or lighter, and symptoms such as hot flushes can appear. Then comes menopause when ovarian function decline, and periods stop. The last phase is called post-menopause, which begins 12 months after your last period.

Throughout this time, many signs associated with ageing can appear as the hormonal balance alters with the drop in estrogen and progesterone levels. Skin is more likely to wrinkle, there can be growth of facial hair and a thinning of hair in the temple region. Muscles lose some strength and tone, and many women suffer hot flushes and insomnia. Your joints may begin to ache and bones can become more brittle, increasing the risk of osteoporosis.

Vaginal dryness often results from these hormonal changes. The vaginal wall also becomes thinner and blood flow is restricted. Dryness can make sexual intercourse painful or uncomfortable and can lead to irritation and increased risk for infection. You will be happy to note that having regular sexual intercourse increases blood flow into the vagina.

Loss of bladder tone, which can result in stress incontinence (leaking urine when you cough, sneeze, laugh or exercise), can also result.

You may also experience a whole host of emotional ups and downs, one minute feeling on top of the world and the next in the pits of despair. The good news is that by eating the right diet, taking the right supplements, doing some exercise and using natural hormone replacements - virtually all these symptoms can be alleviated.

I do not advocate taking orthodox hormone replacement therapy (HRT) because of the increased risk of high blood pressure, weight gain, gall bladder and liver problems, not to mention breast and endometrial (uterine) cancers. The increased health risks of orthodox HRT have now been shown to far out-weigh the benefits. Yes, it slows the rate of bone loss, but only while you are taking it. Also, if you are under a lot of stress at this time, adrenal function is greatly affected. Healthy adrenal glands continue to supply post-menopausal women with estrogen. But if you are stressed, then your adrenal glands are kept busy pumping the stress hormone cortisol and less estrogen is made.

Wendy recently started experiencing the signs of early menopause and was determined not to give in to her doctors suggestions that she start taking synthetic HRT to deal with the symptoms. Instead she did her own research on natural hormone replacement and natural progesterone cream. She's very pleased to report that both these natural options have helped tremendously in relieving her symptoms without having any adverse affect on her health.

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Personal Development Plans - Can They Help You Achieve Your Goals

Do you realise the power of having a personal development plan? It's like having your very own blueprint for success in your life – tailored to create your life exactly how you want it to be. If I could show you how to build your own personal development plan, would you be willing to devote 10 -15 minutes per day to nurture it and put it into practise?

Before we get started, let me ask you a question: "Why do successful people seem to find it easier to get what they want in life?" And why do some people get to the top of their careers and earn good money, while you continue to struggle to make a decent living?

The way I see it is this – the people who are able to achieve their goals and ambitions in life, with relative ease are much less inhibited, and are even totally un-inhibited.

These people still get nervous and anxious when in demanding situations that take them outside of their comfort zone, but they have learnt how to control those limiting and dysfunctional emotions and behaviours and even eliminate them completely from their lives.

Successful people have learned the behaviours they need to achieve their goals, and they practice them on very regular occasions. So much so, their old, limiting behaviours have all but been eliminated from their life, and their new empowering behaviours and now the norm.

If these people can learn how to not feel nervous and anxious in important situations, so can you.

If these people have learned how to remain calm and relaxed when they get into winning positions in sport, so can you.

If these people have learned how to stand in front of a room full of people, be relaxed, smile, and present their ideas, so can you.

And if these people have learned how to overcome their frustrations and inabilities to achieve their highest goals in life, so can you.

If you can dedicate 5 to 10 minutes each day to practising some simple NLP techniques, you can start to take control of your fears and frustrations and turn them into positive and empowering emotions.

Before you turn tail and run at the thought of learning some NLP techniques [http://magic-hats.com], or if you're not really sure what it is, in it's simplest form, Neuro Linguistic Programming is basically a method of helping you change the way you habitually react to any given situation. When you experience anxiety or frustration, you are simply reacting negatively to the situation that is causing those emotions. NLP teaches you how you can easily change your reactions to be positive and empowering.

To get started, there are two very simple exercises you need to learn and practice:

1. You need to become aware of all the situations and environments that make you feel nervous, anxious and inhibited. Carry a little notebook in your pocket so that you can make note of them whenever they occur.

In order to start tearing down the barriers that are standing in your way, you need to know exactly what those barriers are.

2. The second exercise is even easier – you simply need to write down how you would like to feel most of the time, and what feelings and behaviours you want to eliminate from your life.

Take you time to do step two thoroughly – the more detailed your list, the better you will be able to focus in on those areas, and create a personal development plan that supports your goals.

Wendy Jones is a life and personal development coach. Here she shares a very simple approach to overcome your fears and eliminate negative emotions. These simple NLP techniques [http://magic-hats.com] can be your roadmap to building confidence and overcoming the frustrations that are holding you back from achieving the things that are really important to you. Get a copy of the Magic Hats free report and learn how to create your own personal development plan [http://magic-hats.com].

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How to Build Self Confidence Using Self Hypnosis Techniques

Have you ever felt anxious, depressed, nervous, or angry? We all have at some time in our life! As we all know, these negative emotions dis-empower us, while positive emotions inspire and energise us to achieve our goals. With Magic Hats you can transform anxiety into energy, fear into courage and disorganised helplessness into organised, actionable plans. Have you ever felt anxious, depressed, nervous, or angry? Or feeling low on self confidence and self esteem? One of the areas that seems to concern people a lot is how to build self confidence and start to feel good about life.

One thing is for sure though, and that is no matter how bad you feel, or what negative emotions you are experiencing, if you use proven techniques, you will definitely notice a very positive change – these self help techniques really do work.

These techniques are based on Neuro Linguistic Programming methods (or NLP), and will enable you to move away from negative and disempowering moods and emotions, and into much more positive and powerful emotions literally within seconds.

Don't be misled – knowledge is not power.

You may be familiar with the saying that "knowledge is power" – unfortunately that's not true. You could read everything here, gain the knowledge but still not see any improvements in your life. That's because "Action is Power", not knowledge. To reap the benefits of these techniques you must put them into action. It will only take you 10 – 15 minutes a day, but unless you practice them regularly, they're not going to have the effect you're looking for..

Have You Got Your Magic Hats

The whole process can be broken in to 5 simple steps – these steps are known as The Magic Hats Program. They are very distinctive and highly effective.

Step 1 – Self Hypnosis. This is where you place yourself in a very deep state of total relaxation. Just feeling this relaxed is enough to make you feel better, and this is just the beginning.

Step 2 – Modalities. This simply refers to your modes of thinking. We all remember our past memories and experiences through our senses – visual pictures/photos, familiar sounds, delightful smells and aromas... An example being that when you pick up a familiar smell, it usually triggers the memory of what happened when you last smelt it.

Step 3. Swish Patterns. This is a simple technique that allows you to change from one state (feeling down, unhappy, etc) to another (feeling happy, confident, elated, excited…)

Step 4. Anchors. When you are experiencing your new positive behaviour it's important to "anchor" it in your memory so that you can recall it whenever you wish.

Step 5. Being aware of how your mind operates. Most people have no idea or understanding of how they operate or how their mind controls them. Here you take control of your mind and you start to call the shots as to how you function and how you feel about things.

Learn to Relax on Demand

As human beings we work and function best when we are relaxed. In order for these techniques to work, you need to be fully relaxed – so here's how to get more relaxed than you've probably ever been before. You can do this anywhere you wish just so long as you won't be disturbed for the next 10 minutes. You'll come out of it feeling energised, relaxed and self confident [http://magic-hats.com].

Sit in your chair with you back straight, and your feet flat on the floor. Make sure the base of your spine is pushed right back into the back of the chair.

1. Place your right hand on your stomach where you belt buckle sits (or would sit if you're not wearing a belt).

2. Push your stomach out into your right hand and at the same time take a deep breath in trying to fill your lungs into your stomach. Then allow your lungs to expand into your ribcage. When your lungs are full, hold your breath for the count of 6. This method ensures you completely fill your lungs with oxygen rich air, and get as much of that oxygen as possible into your blood stream.

3. Breathe out slowly, and at the same time suck in your stomach muscles as far as you can – as though you are trying to get your stomach muscles to touch your spine. When you have fully exhaled, hold for a count of 6.

4. Repeat this breathing technique for a total of 6 to 12 times.

So the process is Push out stomach and breathe in – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 - 6 Hold breath – 2 - 3 – 4 - 5 - 6 Suck in stomach and breathe out – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 - 6 Hold breath – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 Repeat 6 – 12 times.

When you've finished (or maybe even while you're in the middle of the exercise) you may feel slightly dizzy or light headed. This is simply because your blood is now highly oxygenated and you are more relaxed.

Wendy Jones is a life and personal development coach. Here she shares a very simple approach to overcome your fears and eliminate negative emotions. These simple techniques can be your roadmap on how to build self confidence [http://magic-hats.com] and overcome the frustrations that are holding you back from achieving the things that are really important to you. Get a copy of the Magic Hats free report and learn how to build self confidence [http://magic-hats.com].

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Protecting Your Bones During Menopause

The care of bones and joints has been gaining increased attention as movement and activity become more and more valued as fundamental elements of our quality of life. In the younger postmenopausal population, trauma and fractures are the greatest cause of disability and death, while in the older group hip fractures are among the most frequent and seriously disabling conditions, often leading to loss of independence and even death. In the UK, hip fracture is the number one reason why older women lose their ability to live independently and need to be institutionalized.

In addition, joint problems such as osteoarthritis account for a substantial loss in quality of life, with a large associated economic and social cost for treatment. Arthritis is one of the most common diseases of this stage of life. It affects millions of adults and half of all people aged 65 and older. The three most common kinds of arthritis in older are osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis and gout. In fact, hip and knee replacements are among the most frequently performed operations in people over 50 years of age.

Although the link between arthritis and gender is less clear, gender is certainly a a factor in some rheumatic diseases. Lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia are all more common among women.  This indicates that hormones or other male-female differences may play a role in the development of these conditions.

The Right Way Forward

Whereas some of these alterations are simply the result of aging and may be altogether unavoidable, much can be done to prevent and reduce the consequences of these  problems.

A healthy lifestyle, which includes a balanced diet, weight control and exercise, will substantially reduce the risk of fractures, falls and the worsening of arthritis.  In addition, a few medical treatments are now available that may be very helpful in dealing with the causes and consequences of these conditions. However, these medical treatments tend to be expensive and long lasting, and may have side effects, so individual needs and risks should always be discussed with your healthcare professional before you embark on any long term therapy.

Keeping Bones Strong

Calcium is key to bone strength, but how and when you take it is very important. Take calcium in small doses (400 mg per dose) with plenty of water throughout the day. If you take any more at one time it will be eliminated as a waste product. Take calcium with meals, but do not take it with any fiber or iron supplements, as these will hamper its absorption.

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Menopause Symptoms - Fatigue

Fatigue is one of the most frequently reported menopause symptoms, and perhaps unsurprisingly, its most common cause is sleep deprivation, which is largely due to fluctuating hormone levels. Around this time, androgen, the 'male' hormone we produce associated with energy levels and a sense of well being - begins to decrease. A drop in estrogen levels can also produce sleeping problems.

Another common culprit is diet. A high-carbohydrate, low-fat diet can play havoc with your metabolism. It encourages high levels of insulin, which lead to low blood sugar levels. If you drink fizzy drinks, tea or coffee, the caffeine content leads to a release of adrenaline, which further upsets the insulin- sugar balance.

Fortunately, there are a number of things you can do to bring your energy levels up.

Diet

To raise blood glucose levels it is important to eat carbohydrates with a low or medium glycemic index. These provide a gradual and sustained release of energy. Be sure, too, to include plenty of foods containing B vitamins, particularly if you eat a high carbohydrate diet. Sufficient fat and protein are also needed to maintain healthy cellular function; choose healthful fats like linseed, avocado or olive oil, and protein in the form of lean meats, poultry or soya products.

Seaweeds of all kinds can nourish your nervous, immune and hormonal systems. Try eating a portion as a vegetable at least once a week and get into the habit of adding some to soups and salads.

Eating several small meals or snacking throughout the day can reduce the energy-sapping drops in blood glucose levels that occur between meals - as can cutting down on caffeine drinks and alcohol.

Herbal Remedies

Siberian ginseng is commonly taken to increase stamina and boost the immune system. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) treats exhaustion with energy tonics that contain ginseng.

Exercise

Lack of exercise leads to inactivity, while keeping active and fit gives you more energy and stamina. Even a brisk 10-minute walk will shift your mood and raise your energy levels.

Many eastern-based practices, such as meditation, yoga, t'ai chi, qi gong and shiatsu, are based on moving energy around your body to revitalize you.

Another effective practice is skin brushing. Several minutes of scrubbing in the morning will boost your circulation and raise your energy levels. If you have an existing skin problem you can still scrub, just avoid the affected area. Adding the juice of a tablespoon of grated ginger will boost the beneficial effects.

Stress Reduction

Overdoing anything, even something as good as exercise, can also lead to fatigue, so make sure you pace yourself. Take more breaks and, if necessary, cut back on some of your activities. Include plenty of enjoyable activities, even socializing, which can relieve the stress of a hectic schedule.

Many therapists suggest that clearing your life of clutter - whether it's clearing up your desk or learning to let go of situations beyond your control - will stop your energy from being sapped. Nicotine is also an energy sapper, so if you smoke you should stop.

Chemical Treatments

Testosterone supplements in patch or cream form have been tried, but this use of the drug is not licensed in some countries, nor have studies shown it to be effective.

Empower yourself with the knowledge to make informed decision about dealing with your menopause symptoms, from finding natural remedies for menopause relief and night sweats to understanding the causes of hot flashes and whether or not to use prescription or natural hormone therapy treatments.

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Preparing For Divorce - Take The Test

Do our national love and respect for independence sabotage marriage? We all know our divorce rate is too high, but who's responsible, and what are some of the things we need to know about this subject? Here's an opportunity to check out your own views and maybe get a few pointers if you're in the process of preparing for divorce.

Answer TRUE or FALSE:

1. If there's going to be a divorce, the partner with the most education is the least likely to initiate it.

2. Males are usually the first to ask for a divorce.

3. In order to compromise, it's usually necessary to give up a certain amount of independence. Males are actually better trained for this than are women.

4. If parents are planning on getting a divorce, children need to be told about it in advance

5. A woman is most likely to ask for divorce because of her husband's infidelity.

6. Children who grow up with constant conflict between parents share many of the same problems as children of divorce

7. Couples who are about to divorce often have as much difficulty telling their parents as they do their children.

8. Children of divorced parents usually do better if only one parent attends school functions.

ANSWERS:

1. FALSE. While the chance of divorce is less when both parents are well-educated, when there's a sharp difference, the better-educated partner is more likely to initiate divorce.

2. FALSE. This is a common misconception. Actually, two thirds of divorce suits are filed by women. Females are much more likely to want to start preparing for divorce than are their male partners.

3. FALSE. Compromise is essential in any partnership, but females are much more adept at it because most have been trained from an early age.

4. TRUE. Parents should always discuss this with children, and most important, reassure 'them that no matter what happens, their own future is secure.

5. FALSE. This is another misconception. Husbands are cited for adultery only slightly more frequently than are wives.

6.. TRUE. Couples should stay together for their children ONLY if they're not going to fight. Constant quarrels are always damaging. In which case divorce is a better option.

7. TRUE. A couple's parents are often very involved in their marriage, and a separation can be traumatic, especially if there are grandchildren. Although couples count on their parents for support, they often feel guilty and experience a lot of conflict when talking with them about an impending divorce.

8. FALSE. Not only should school officials send out notices to both parents, children almost always make healthier adjustments when both parents participate.

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Do Herbs for Menopause Really Ease Menopausal Symptoms

Menopause is part of the natural, life-long process of female growth and development. The word menopause originates from the Greek words meaning "to cease" and "month." In essence, menopause refers to the stopping of menstruation. For most American women, menopause occurs at an average age of 51, but it can begin as early as 40 and end as late as 58.

One thing is for sure and that is every woman's experience of menopause will be different. Approximately 80% of all women will go through the "change of life" - as it is often referred to - with very few symptoms other than their periods coming to an end.

Menopause symptoms occur due to the physical changes a woman experiences as she gets older. In particular, it is due to the reduction in the levels of hormones - namely estrogen and progesterone - in her body. This decrease causes an irregularity in the menstrual cycle and the eventual end of the menstrual cycle all together.

The three clear signs of the onset of menopause are an irregular monthly flow, hot flashes, and vaginal dryness. Hot flashes have long been considered the classic symptom of menopause. A woman experiencing a hot flash may feel a sudden wave of warmth in the face, neck, and chest, lasting for several minutes and accompanied by reddening of the skin, like blushing.

Hot flashes can bring on with heavy perspiration over the upper body, dizziness, headaches, and palpitations (rapid heart beats). The easiest way to manage hot flashes is to control body temperature by wearing layered clothing that can be removed, drinking cold liquids, and when possible, taking a swim or a cold shower.

Changes in the vagina and urinary tract are another common menopausal symptom. With less estrogen, both the vagina and urinary tract become thinner and dryer and more prone to injury and infection. If vaginal changes are severe enough, intercourse may become painful.

Of the many natural and herbal remedies for menopause, a simple remedy for vaginal dryness is use of a personal lubricant (K-Y jelly, apricot oil or Vitamin E oil) during intercourse. A physician may also prescribe a vaginal cream containing estrogen.

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How To Eliminate Panic Attack Symptoms From Your Life

You have your hotdogs and buns ready for tonight's barbeque; the checkout line has been long although there is only one customer between you and the cashier when a strange sensation begins to creep over you. Your throat begins to tighten as you take a hard swallow. Then your chest begins to tighten and you feel short of breath. You feel your heart start to race that leaves you feeling as if you want to disappear. Not here, you plead inside, not here.

You glance around to make sure you are safe however, there are several strangers behind you and one other customer in front. You realize you are beginning to have a panic attack while your skin begins to prickle all over as a rush of doom washes over you.
There is no doubt in your mind now that this is going to be a big one. Okay, focus. Remember what you have been taught, it is time to apply the coping techniques. Begin the deep breathing exercise your doctor recommended. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Slowly now, remembering to think relaxing thoughts and again, while inhaling, tell yourself to relax then exhale. However, it seems that you may be feeling very self-conscious of concentrating on breathing and even more stressed than before.

Okay, coping technique 2: Gradual muscle relaxation. Tense both shoulders, hold for 10 seconds, then release. Try it again. No, still no difference. The anxiety is getting worse and the very fact that you are out of coping techniques worsens your panic. If only you were surrounded by your family, or a close friend were beside you so you could feel more confident in dealing with this situation.

Your body stings with the tingling as adrenaline pumps faster in your body, you then feel the terror of losing your complete control right there in the check out line. However, for those around you it is just another day and they have no sense of how you are feeling.

If you feel you are out of options, the next coping procedure is to flee. A confused cashier watches as you lay your shopping behind on her counter, and you make your escape and exit out of the door. Once out of the supermarket you get into your car and begin to ride it out alone. You struggle within as you wonder, could this be the big one. The attack you fear most, one that will push you past your limits both physically and mentally. The panic subsides within ten minutes or so.

To someone who suffers from panic attack the scenario above can seen alarmingly familiar. In fact, it is possible just reading this article that the feelings of panic and anxiety are starting to well up within ou. Everyone is different; therefore, it is normal that their triggers for attacks may differ. A panic attack can occur anywhere at any time.

Hopefully, you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and that everyone experiences that same acute sense of approaching horror when experiencing an anxiety attack. It is a feeling so strong that you may feel as though you are about to perish on the spot or lose your mind altogether.

Did you know that in the United States that the estimate of those stricken by panic attacks is nearly five percent?. For many individuals their episodes are triggered by the expectation of dealing with others while speaking. Then there are those who suffer daily and have become homebound by the frequency of their panic attacks. Often panic attacks that develop frequently are referred to as anxiety or panic disorder by the medical profession.

But all is not lost - with some simple yet effective panic attack techniques, you can start to gain control over your emotions once again.

You see, the trick to handling such attacks is the want of having one - as the wanting actually pushes the attack away. You just need to realize that which you oppose will actually endure. This also applies to the fear you feel. To stop opposing you must move towards it, into the path of the anxiety, and by doing so, it cannot endure.

What this means is if you try daily to have an attack on your own you will not have an attack at all. Try it right now; you can't do it, can you? Whether you realize it or not, you have always chosen to panic. You make the choice when you tell yourself that things are beyond your control.

You should keep in mind that the racing of your heart or the panic you feel will not cause you harm; you are perfectly safe, although you may feel overwhelmed, you are safe from harm. It is in your best interest to choose not to have a panic attack.

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Foods For Menopause Symptoms

Foods to Avoid

In general, the typical Western diet of white flour, and full-fat dairy and meat is not only unhealthy but also contributes to hot flashes.

Avoid chemicals that mimic estrogens (xenoestrogens) found in pesticides or herbicides by eating organic foods.

Intensively reared animals have often been treated with antibiotics and hormones, another reason to eat organic meat and chicken.

Minimize your exposure to foods stored in plastic containers and never heat or microwave food in plastic containers - as they will leach xenoestrogens.

Cut down on all caffeine, fizzy cola-type drinks, sugar, chocolate and too much alcohol, which all act as stimulants and trigger blood sugar problems,

Friendly Foods

Increase your intake of fresh, locally grown and preferably organic fruits and vegetables.

Fermented soya-based foods are truly one of the best foods for managing the symptoms associated with the menopause. Soya contains isoflavones (phyto-estrogens), which have estrogen-like effects on the body and block the harmful effects of estrogens and xenoestrogens. There has been much misinformation written about about soya, but soya foods in their traditional forms of miso, soya sauce and tempeh (a fermented form of soya) are all rich in isoflavones which have been proven to reduce the risk of developing cancers. But they are best eaten cooked.

Eat more organic tofu and use soya, rice or almond milks.

Isoflavones are also found in chickpeas, lentils, alfalfa, fennel, kidney beans, sunflower, pumpkin and sesame seeds, Brazil nuts, walnuts and linseeds. All seeds and their unrefined oils are rich in essential fatty adds which also help reduce joint pain, risk of heart disease.

Foods from the brassica vegetable family also help protect against estrogen-sensitive cancers, including breast cancer and cervix cancer, and balance hormones. These include cabbage, broccoli, pak choi. Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, kale, kohlrabi, mustard, rutabaga and turnips.

Brazil nuts and sesame seeds are a better source of calcium than cows' milk.

Live, low-fat yoghurt increases healthy bacteria in the gut, which aids absorption of nutrients from your diet.

Vitamin B12 has been shown to reduce irritability, bloating and headaches associated with the menopause and is found in oily fish, eggs and meats.

Potassium and pantothenic acid (vitamin B5) help support adrenal function. They are found in wholegrains such as brown rice, amaranth, barley, quinoa, salmon, tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, avocado, dried apricots, banana, cantaloupe melon, oranges and fish.

Use dried seaweeds such as kombu in your cooking and stir-fries, as seaweed is rich in iodine (which supports the thyroid) and calcium.

Eat organic foods including meat, chicken, vegetables and fruits to avoid ingesting too many toxins from herbicides and pesticides.

Folic acid found in wheatgerm, eggs, leafy greens, calves' and chicken liver, dried yeast and boiled beetroot is very important during the menopause to protect the bones.

Include garlic in your diet, which helps to keep cholesterol levels in check.

Drink more spring water which helps to regulate body temperature.

Avoid very hot drinks and hot spicy foods.

!f you have trouble sleeping, try valerian and passionflower teas.

Wendy recently started experiencing the signs of early menopause and was determined not to give in to her doctors suggestions that she start taking synthetic HRT to deal with the symptoms. Instead she did her own research on what causes of hot flashes and natural remedies for menopause like natural HRT and natural progesterone cream. She's very pleased to report that both these natural options have helped tremendously in relieving her symptoms without having any adverse affect on her health.

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